Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Sorry, I'm so sorry and please...Forgive me!!!

Dedicated specially for you


Sorry for making you mad with everything I said and I did
Sorry for making you mad with every little thoughts of mine
Sorry when I cried for you

I am sorry for making you feel tired of my self
I am so sorry for making you feel lost
I am so sorry for making you feel helpless and useless

Sorry too, for every little pain that I have crafted in your life
Sorry too for making you in sorrow and suffer...

I am just so sorry for making your days in blue,
for creating your life in grays...

I am just so sorry and please forgive me!!!

10.02.2010

I have been living here for almost 21 years...Well, when I traced back to years before, I never really ask my self, what life is actually...I never go deeper into those kind of life's questions as I never realize that life is not as easy as what I think...It is so complicated at certain stages of life, like what I am facing now...It seems that this is another toughest stage in my life...


Come into my 21st year of life, I realize that I have not been using my life for some good deeds and purposes... I know myself well as not the one who are so good in the sense of 'kind and good' character, what people think how a good and kind person should be, like helpful, friendly and what so ever...

Now, I am struggling to find back my own way in my life; what I wanna do for next, who I am, why I live and what I live for...

Not untill I am 21 years old, truly accepted and live in Him and read that book, seems I have been living for years without any purposes...I am totally lost...I can't recall back what I wanna do actually compared to years before; what I want to be, what kind of life I wanna have, who I wnat to be with...

Dreams and wishes seem apart and get away from me...Best of all, I just wish to life with my family in a simple and happy life...Greatest thing of my life will be only living with the one I love, have my own happy and simple family and do things that I love accordingly to His plan...

Be honest, somehow, I feel my self is grazy...I think too much for advance and let others around me 'bored'...even for some people, I will forever feel sorry...

I just hope I could end this soon...Decide what I wanna do soon peacefully...God, please hear my cry...No one I can turn to, even I have one and some from You...but I am too much, I don't deserve it...Lord, help me, I beg you please...I just wish I could set my self free in Your glory and grace over me...

Monday, February 8, 2010

She can't take it anymore...

I will never wish to see this...I will never want this as well...However, it's never simple and easy to understand how a girl like her behave in such a way...What does she want actually? Why does she behave, act and say things in a way that maybe she doesn't even understand...

She just told me she may not be able to and can't take it any longer...That's it...Will it gonna be the end??? She is dying now...Will death come to her???

I just wish My Father could help and save her when there is no one could help her anymore...I wish too her friend of life will be always with her forever, never let her go as what My Father will never let me go...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

24.01.2010.2010.01.24

Thank God...

For give me everything that I need...

You give each of the things just in the right time...
my big amily,
my hero and his family,
my friends,
anyone and anything around me...

Since I know You,
everything is perfect now because of Your glory and grace over me and those things...
I learnt that things in my life are not accidents...

Lord Jesus,
I pary so that You are always with them, no matter when it is,
no matter where it is,
You would never leave them as You never leave me as well...

Lord,
You are the only one who know me best than anyone,
even my self...

Lord,
please Your way to be done in my life...
Draw me only close only to you..
Show me Your way and wills what You want me to be in You...
let others too to see You through me and those things around me...

I want to be with You in my life...
let my life, his life; our life could give a grace in You...
bless us with Your loves and blessings that would never dry today, tomorrow and forever more..

Forgive me Lord for sins that I have done to him and others...
Please Lord...Please...

In Jesus glorious name I pray and thank...

Amen.

24.01.2010

Things changed after sometimes...No matter what things they are, it does really changes, especially human...

I know she is always the trouble...She is truly trouble maker...There should not be something, but when there is time, there would be something for sure...Behalf on her, I really want to say sorry, but I guess it is not the first time the word to be out, however..Would it be the last??? I hope so, so she will not bother me anymore...

I would never feel good after what happened...Is she really, no...truly bad girl? Well...No comment...For sure, there must be something behind, but what is that? Does other know about this? Huh...

When thing is getting so popular and has been famous for sometimes, no wonder if the owner is scared to lose it, is it normal to happen? I guess so, but it is not good when owner is getting over it...Same thing happen to me too, I would too be scared to lose it, especially for things that I really love..Oh Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would anything, maybe...

But her............I think the case is different...There would be much more than that....Really?

I am not sure how fast thing is changed, but it is pretty fast for human, hahaha....i think so for some others things too...

Whenever she starts telling me about something...The only thing I could say is, "Stop it!!! You're grazy...You make things so complicated...It is nothing should be done in such a way...But, you make it!!! Oh no girl...If you are scared to lose it, if you worry about it too much...Nothing would be good to you...".

I am not sure how much it helps her, but I am sure, it is not really helping her...She still has things and words stuck in her mind...Anyone could help her to take it out???

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Her and Him

In the way that she would never think,
they are now one,
today, tomorrow and forever in eternity of Him...

His way and time are just in time
to make two into one soul in His blessings that woudl never fade things away...

All just because His glory and wills that people now are together forever....

ALOHA...

September...October...November...December and now, January....4 months and I am back here...Bet you, me and everyone may miss out lots of things happening in my life within these period...

Well, undeniable...Last year, hmm...could be said a s a fruitfull year for me...The peak happened in a way that I would never think before...Everything happened just because of His grace and glory...He makes everything just in His time, perfectly....Thank God for another best gift ever in my life...He is really making me a way to go just in His way and His time...This is one that really could make me stand up and stay strong no matter where I am; no matter what happened, what had happened or what will happened...I learnt that everything in my life is not an accident...He designs everything for me and you as well...He is great...

Anyway, I felt great that I have finished my Diploma in Mass Communication in December, finally....As usual, when one thing is just done, another thing is yet to come...Ohhh..Again, things about choices always come...But, today...Everything is clear enough; which way I should go....and I would like to thank Him again...He is really knowing my needs and dreams...

December was also another great month of the year 2009...I did something unexpectedly in Him and I wish I could help everyone with my experiences....For sure, I could not write all here as I am bit lazy and too much to write...

I just want to keep my mind to remember that His glory and grace that have made me today...

Friday, September 25, 2009

a month later...

hey hey..i am back...again, after a long time, one month two days...

things have changed in my life....lots of things...hmm...some are really bringing me to next level of maturity, next level of understanding, new challenge on how to fade my selfishness and ego far far away...yeah...so much things...however, i guess most of them are good for me...=)

well...keep you update with my days and life, as well as reminder for myself for those days, I...
1. have started my final semester for more than one month and i find that this semester is a bit though than before,
2. have been chosen as chairman for my Public Relations final project and for sure, it is not a JOKE..., (let you guys know when it all set=)
3. 'm taken...
4. 'm so arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...i am bombarded with assignments and projects...

tough time ahead of me...but i will not alone now...thank God for the gift...=)

no matter what and how tough and hard life is...He is with me, we and them are bond together...always....and i will be okay....always okay and great...